just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
