The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
