So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
