suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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