FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
