this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
