I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
