good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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