It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
