Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
