Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
