I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
