I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
