I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
