too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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