i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So squirting runs in the family.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize