The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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