i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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