I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize