Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
