Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
