You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
