I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
