I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
