Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
