first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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