We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
