people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
