It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
