if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
