This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
