You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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