ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
