i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
