birth control should be required to get into college
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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