Soap is not a condiment
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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