i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
