Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
