Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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