my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
