the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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