big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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