It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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