We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
