I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
