I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
