Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
