apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
