Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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