Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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