So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
