if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
