Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
