New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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