He uses pillows to masturbate.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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