Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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