That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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