She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
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