im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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