porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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