good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
