I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
