Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
