Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
